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Fathom Pinball
In Search Of The Present [Part 1]
This is the first article in a series of eight and, ideally, because spiritual understanding expands outwards like a spiral, I would love to think, dear Reader, that you are reading each article in the order in which it has been written.
Burleigh Heads Esplanade 27-9-2007
Yes, I am on a quest of sorts – I am searching for a connection to my soul, right here, right now.
Admittedly, I have an ulterior motive – quite a strong one at that: I am trying to edit some karma out of my energy field by altering its properties.
This, from me, who a couple of years ago thought about my soul as often as the molecular composition of my body, which was never.
v
What has since happened is the weirdest thing. As luck would have it or, should I say, as karma would have it, some thirteen months ago, totally inexplicably, I happened to connect with a woman, Moriya, who turned out to be a spiritual healer.
It soon became clear that this woman felt that her karmic mission in this lifetime was to guide whoever happened to be drawn to her approach to spirituality.
v
Putting faith in the old saying we find The Teacher we need once we are ready to learn, I assumed I had already found my spiritual teacher a few years prior in the form of the founder of a healing center whose hands-on approach to PsychoBioEnergy Psychotherapy made more sense to me than not.
Though each workshop cost $500 to $700 a weekend, a considerable drain of my savings, I felt privileged to attend all in the program over a two-year period.
v
If it is true that enlightenment comes at a price, when scanning the advertising section in any of the top selling spiritual magazines, one would be excused for thinking that the *price* in question has to be of a financial nature. It therefore stands to reason that the proverbial single mother of two is not likely to get much enlightenment in this lifetime. And this is perhaps her karma.
v
Though real wisdom cannot be bought, placebo can be. And a point worth considering is that, in matters of spirituality, we do not truly learn anything new. We merely remember what we already know from anterior lives.
The more the channel to our inner self is open, the easier it is to retrieve this memory.
Any *new* insight comes not from our ability to learn and absorb, but is accessed from our soul. The events that trigger a search for spiritual enlightenment are merely the catalyst that gets us moving.
v
Moriya’s spirituality is such that anyone who knows her initially thinks that this woman should live the protected life of a Rinpoche, a *diamond* in Tibetan terms, or at least that of a spiritual leader in a holy ashram somewhere in remote Galilee where the hills and the forests meet the sea.
There, she would be shielded from the hustle and bustle of modern living by a retinue of adoring disciples who would tend to her earthly needs, however basic, while keeping visitors at a respectful distance.
v
Moriya is not a woman of great wealth, at least not in terms of money in the bank. She has to earn her living as most of us do and balance her checkbook at the end of every month but, oddly for a modern day spiritualist, she has not yet charged anyone, not even a shekel – she lives in Jerusalem – for any of the spiritual guidance she has been dispensing, humbly, quietly, in a selfless way for the past twenty years.
v
For the truly spiritually evolved one, our blocked and somewhat *charged* energies can be energetically painful in ways I cannot even fathom but Moriya has accepted her mission as handed over to her by her soul - to make accessible and credible, from within an ordinary modern life, all that she knows, without the help of any spiritual-religious trappings whatsoever.
v
It is Moriya’s belief that by living and working unprotected, and in the thick of it all, her inner strengths are best tested which, she says, frees her from the possibility of ever feeling that she is *special*. In addition, Moriya neither feels at risk of burning out by having her spirit energy drained out of her and/or of becoming victim of her own ego, two well-documented conditions that affect many otherwise well-intentioned and genuine spiritual practitioners.
v
Long story short, never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought the universe would connect me to someone like Moriya.
I was even less prepared to become such a person’s spiritual protégée. And yet, it is how the situation has panned out, one enlightening email at a time, over the past thirteen months.
This morning I replied to email #369.
v
Besides Moriya’s fluid decoding and seamless interpretations of the anodyne, but symbolic *messages* that come my way via any of my daily moments, each
email contains an eclectic mix of teaching points, spiritual parables, and pointed analyses distilled from the hundreds of books of which she has an intimate knowledge and which cover all strands of religious and spiritual disciplines, from the most ancient expressions of the human spirit to what is now considered classic and esoteric thinking in metaphysics. Moriya has made it her business, over the past twenty-years to read and accept - or reject - all that
the major thinkers and theosophists have written on karma, the energy field, matters of the soul and reincarnation.
v
Since Moriya has generously gifted me many of her books, a fair chunk of her private collection is now sitting on my bookshelf. Every time I run my hand across their spines, I am aware of the challenge each book yet unread is posing me. My time is as elastic as old putty. It is not expandable.
I bump along like a little pinball from one deadline to another, from one situation I feel I could have handled better to another I could have handled differently.
Even when I manage to not blot my notebook, the ghosts of moments – past and future - invade my thoughts like so many phantom-limbs.
Was I ever an octopus in a previous life? If so, why can’t I reconnect with the octopus’s ability to just be - one simple propulsion at a time?
v
Moriya’s approach to spirituality is the only one I have come across that requires no ritual, no picture, no mantra, no paraphernalia, no god worship, no expense of any sort, no workshops, no merchandising.
Put simply, we do not need anything beyond establishing a connection to our soul - this element of the divine, that is already within us, is all we need to tap into.
v
As Moriya, herself, is a massive anthology of all of that is esoteric writings, when receiving her teachings first-hand, even books are optional, if not for the intellectual stimulation of reading source material.
v
Life, even a mostly pleasant life such as mine, has never stopped presenting me with challenges of varying emotional charge which, I have come to believe, probably stems from not having been anywhere near unconditional love, certainly not as a child and a young adult. Yet I know that if I could stop fretting for a moment - right here, right now, if I could stop sifting through a miasmic past while blinking apprehensively at the future, I do believe my days would flow better. Much better.
v
My life, you see, is enfolding right in front of my nose, under each of my fingertips, in the present, as I press each of the keys that make up these words. If I could just be in the present and not keep loading up *now* with the stale emotional clutter of yesterday, of *the last time*, of whenever, if I could refrain from playing forward ethereal scenarios released by an insecure mind, I believe the quality of my energy field would shift.
I believe it would allow me to be more like a little mountain spring - fresh, clean and transparent.
I believe I would not only be better at all that I do, as being a woman, someone’s partner, a high school teacher, a daughter, a friend, a writer, but I would also have time to become a serious reader of inspiring thoughts with a lot of extra time on my hands in which to contemplate the meaning of my soul’s current life, this life - my life.
About the Author
By day, a teacher of Senior English and French in Brisbane, Australia, and, by night, a writer of spiritual material, I am on a quest of sorts – I am searching for a connection to my soul, right here, right now. Admittedly, I have an ulterior motive – quite a strong one at that: I am trying to edit some karma out of my energy field by altering its properties. This, from me, who a couple of years ago thought about my soul as often as the molecular composition of my body, which was never. Dear Reader, should you wish to read this article in its orginal format and within the context of the index page, C.C. on Destiny, please, visit http://www.ccsaint-clair.com/index.php?menu_id=1079& page_id=1764 By the way, I am not selling anything: no workshops; no seminars; no retreat; no massages; no books on spirituality; no crystals. Nothing on that index page can be bought 
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